Intimacy Directors and Coordinators Podcast
Where Intimacy Professionals in TV, Film, and Theatre come together to keep their finger on the pulse of the industry.
Intimacy Directors and Coordinators Podcast
Prep Days!
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🎙️ Podcast Show Notes Introduction
You got the call. They need you tomorrow. Just come in, make sure everyone feels comfortable, and then we shoot. Simple, right? Not even close. In this episode, Alicia Rodis and Amanda Pulcini break down one of the most common myths in intimacy coordination: that this work can happen overnight. They pull back the curtain on what actually makes a set run smoothly, why prep days are not optional, and how skipping them doesn’t just create chaos, it compromises trust, consent, and the quality of the work. If you have ever felt pressure to say yes without the time you need, this conversation will give you language, clarity, and a stronger foundation to stand on.
👂 What to Listen For
- Why being hired the day before a shoot sets everyone up for stress, not success
- What actually happens during prep days and why they are essential to your role as a department head
- How strong prep builds trust with actors and prevents consent from being rushed or compromised
- The real reason you should never negotiate your work as hourly instead of full prep days
- How to hold the line on industry standards without burning bridges or undercutting your peers
🔗 Important Links
“Just Bring Them in Tomorrow”
SPEAKER_00Welcome to the Intimacy Directors and Coordinator podcasts, where intimacy professionals in film, TV, and theater come together to keep our finger on the pulse of the industry. My name is Amanda Pulcini. I'm the director of the Intimacy Professional Accelerator Program and an intimacy coordinator and director myself. I use she, her pronouns, and I am joined by Hi, I'm Alicia Rhodis.
SPEAKER_01I am the creative director of Intimacy Directors and Coordinators, and I am an intimacy coordinator and an intimacy director for theater.
SPEAKER_00Today, uh the myth that we are busting is when intimacy professionals, and we're specifically going to talk about intimacy coordinators coming on to set the day before you shoot a scene, just to make sure everyone feels comfy. You know, we're we just need you to come on, make sure everybody's feeling comfy, and then we're gonna move forward. That was my best producer voice. That's a good one. Alicia, have you ever been called into a production the day before a shoot?
SPEAKER_01Oh, yes, absolutely. I have gotten, and you know, this happened a lot at the beginning where we would uh a lot of us would get calls the day before, just like from a line producer or an AD or someone being like, hi, so we have an intimate scene tomorrow. We would love to bring you on for and it's like, oh, okay, that is going to entirely depend on what the next what the scene is and what the next 12 hours is gonna
Real Talk: Last-Minute Calls
SPEAKER_01look like because we've got a lot of work to do.
SPEAKER_00Totally, totally. And you know, I'm I am hearing of productions, and again, I want to be very clear that we're talking from the intimacy coordination perspective right now. Intimacy direction is just a little bit of a different beast as far as prep work and and coming on the day before and what that means and how that impacts the production and the people involved. But we're gonna focus today on intimacy coordination. And and I will say that what I am starting to see is intimacy coordinators being called at crew up a little earlier, which is really nice to start seeing that we are a part of that conversation well in advance as productions are starting to crew up. Yeah, we still have these anomalies.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and I can even say that during negotiations, when we and what we got out of negotiations with our SAG After contract with the ANPTP, was discussing about how the intimacy
The Industry Shift: Hiring ICs Earlier
SPEAKER_01coordinators need to be hired when a show, when a production is crewing up. So it is out there in the space. And, you know, as we continue the journey through this industry and the intimacy coordinator role becomes more familiar, people are understanding that and really taking more time to put to uh bring us in early.
SPEAKER_00One of the things that we do when we're brought in early, just like any other head of a department, because we are head of a department. We we are usually a solo department unless we're dealing with some some larger scenes. But one of the things that are really important to our job and helps make the day of shoot much more efficient, are our prep days. Can can you talk a little bit about what is entailed in our prep days and how those prep days are important in order for us to be able to serve that production on the day of shooting?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So in intimacy coordination specifically, we talk a lot about doing prep days and
What Prep Days Actually Include
SPEAKER_01making sure that we have preparation days before we are getting into the actual shooting of these scenes. And you know, I want to be clear, there is the concept of prep days or preparation days is not foreign to any producer. They know these from the stunt coordinators who get prep days, they know these from this from other department heads who have prep days, days that they have to be, you know, in the office doing work, prep work before we get to shootings. And these prep days have uh have any number of tasks that are associated with them, like the intimacy meeting or director call, the meetings with actors or calls with actors, our interdepartmental meetings, so meeting up with makeup, hair, costumes, all of those folks, also reading the script, keeping up on all of the one-liners and just general what is happening with the production as it's going. This all can be included in prep days.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and just like any other head of department of a department, our job is to communicate and make sure that there is clear communication around specifically intimacy and what we're dealing with. And nothing there's this beautiful phrase that was taught to me way early on in our in my training, which was we're moving at the speed of trust. And nothing breaks down trust faster, particularly in a vulnerable scene, when there isn't real clear communication about expectations, garments that we're wearing, closed set protocols. So much of these, so many of these conversations that are are done in the prep days leading up to the shoot day creates a a level of trust between everybody involved that helps things go smoothly. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. I had someone recently
Trust Is Built Before Set
SPEAKER_01and actually in an interview say, you know, how do you gain the trust of the actors? And and I said, you know, not not to be a jerk about it, but like, I'm excellent at my job. That's how I give that's how I get trust from the performers I'm working with. I make sure we talk through all of the specifics, ask the questions that need to be asked so that they are prepared. And that's how we get trust from everyone.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and a lot of and a lot of people aren't are not, I want to be very clear, are not necessarily moving maliciously in we're gonna pull the intimacy coordinator in the day before. They may just not understand that that's that prep days are a huge part of it, and and and the trust that we're building in those preparation days are are all a part of it. But sometimes budget is a huge consideration and money. And as our role is becoming a little bit more established, I think that those conversations are easier. But I really do see people going, ooh, we only budgeted this day rate for the one day that you were going to be on set. They weren't budgeting prep days. And and, you know, if you could give advice, Alicia, especially for intimacy coordinators that may be doing this for student films or small independent
Negotiating and Setting Standards
SPEAKER_00projects, where those contracts like we've developed with the AMPTP defines and lays out the importance of prep days and being paid for those. So, how do you navigate that, especially with the the new contract that SAG negotiated with the AMPTP? You had very specific language around that. Can you share some of that?
SPEAKER_01So during the AMPTP uh negotiations for the new intimacy coordinator contract, we talked a lot about what preparation days would look like. What we landed at was that any prep days would be negotiated separately. So it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist in the contract. It just means, and there's a specific line that says must be negotiated separately. Now, that being said, and I want to make sure everyone knows this as well, any of those prep days still go to your pension and health. Just because they're not an onset day, those are still union days. You are in a union position and those are going to your pension and health. It just depends on what it is that you have negotiated. And, you know, when I am working with a new production, usually it's it's and I I love to negotiate on the phone. I don't like doing emails back and forth. I'm usually like, do you have a time to hop on the phone and talk this through? And we talk through what it is and what it looks like. And I say, you know, okay, so let's say that per block will say this number of prep days, but as the scripts come in, let's just, and or as scenes get rewritten or changed, I'll come back to you and let you know what prep days look like for each block. And usually a reasonable conversation is really what these folks are looking for. You know, I don't want to promise anything or say, like, you know, I I say like these are this is the guideline I'm thinking, you know, and if something changes and oops, we have a 20-person orgy scene that is happening, you know, that that has shown up in block two. I can say, hey, so I've been having I have to call all these background performers, we have to do all of this, I've got to have these extra meetings with these departments. It's looking like another couple of prep days. So I'm looking at this many prep days for this, you know, it's a again, a reasonable conversation is what these folks are looking for and what you can usually work with.
SPEAKER_00One important thing to consider with indie films or student films or films that are not currently on the AMPTP contract when they may have not budgeted for a prep day. It's great to model the current SAG IC contract to say, great. Per these guidelines, we do need to have a prep day. Because for all of the aforementioned reasons, prep days are really important for us, making sure that it's efficient while we're on set. But whatever you're proposing to pay me for my day rate on this indie film at this level of budget or for the student film at this level of budget, that full day rate needs to be reflected into at least one prep day, if not more, depending on the level of needs and intimacy and simulated sex that your project needs. We'll have a reasonable conversation, just like Alicia talked about before, and let them know that we're we're setting that standard and that precedent that a prep day is necessary as a full day, not an hourly rate. And I, you know, from experience, it's always gonna take you a little longer than you think it is, even with the smallest jobs, even if you've done it a hundred thousand times, sometimes it's gonna be like, great, I got that conversation done in 10 minutes. This, I broke down the script. It seems straightforward. The intimacy is a consensual kiss, you know, great, wonderful. And yet, you still are getting paid for the day, full day, not the number of hours that you think that you're going to be working for your prep. That's also important in these conversations, is that we're not breaking down hourly prep. We're breaking down a day of work that you're doing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And actually, I'm I'm so glad you brought that up because something that I think it's really important for people to understand is that we try to do prep days always as days, not hourlies. Because we do not want to get into any producer's idea that we work on an hourly, that even if that if you show up for a day, because it'll it's a slippery slope to go into what things will look like on set as well. And then they're like, oh, well, we're only gonna need you for a couple of hours on set. So let's just do an hourly in two hours. And it's like, no, you are giving up that day, you are giving this production that day. You can't take any other work on that day. That is an eight-hour day minimum, which is in our contract.
SPEAKER_00So much of these prep days, with all the things that we discussed with actor meeting, director meetings, other departmental meetings that we're going to be having, breaking, reading and breaking down the script, ensuring that all the right garments and and skin color tape and and prep is there. So much of that and our role as a head of a department is around communication. And the more efficient, I would say the more robust we are with our prep days and our prep work, the more efficient we can be for you on set. And particularly with the time crunch of film and television shoots and how quickly things can change. It's it's massively important that we have that strong foundation of expectation and trust that we've built through the preparation process so that we can move in a way that that feels in line with the rest of the shooting process. So it doesn't feel like everything is coming to a halt for intimacy. In fact, it's all just a part of the flow of the day because we've been able to prep so much.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. I 100% agree. And, you know, a lot of the productions I've been working on recently, we have had separate rehearsals, not just the private rehearsal before shooting, but separate rehearsals days before we're shooting. And it does, it makes a world of difference.
SPEAKER_00I, you know, also taking it from more of a consent lens
The 48-Hour Rule and Consent in Practice
SPEAKER_00and perspective as well. One of the reasons we came up with the four that SAG came up with the 48-hour rule. And just for people who may not be familiar with the 48-hour rider rule, can you just give a quick 30,000-foot what is the 48-hour rider rule?
SPEAKER_01Sure, sure. So SAG AFTRA in 2020 negotiate in the 2020 negotiations negotiated a 48-hour rule that a a SAG AFTRA performer has to get a nudity or simulated sex rider at least 48 hours. It has to be presented to them at least 48 hours in advance. Just hand them the paperwork right before we shoot the scene and say, here it is, please sign this. They had to, it had to be presented to them or their reps at least 48 hours in advance.
SPEAKER_00Was based in the consent principle of not feeling pressured, having information to process and and to consider your choice around the acts and the people that you're going to be asked to perform these simulated acts with or have this level of nudity in this storytelling moment. And when what I find or I have found, even with something like a consensual kiss, if I'm brought on the next day and I haven't had a time, had time to talk to the director about their vision or talk to the actors ahead of time and ask them what they know and where their levels of comfort or boundaries lie, it can be really easy in that time crunch to pressure more intimacy because you just want to, people please. We just want to move through quickly, right? It's all it's all well-intentioned, but but this is part of lessening urgency in a very high-paced environment.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. And, you know, in in prep, even for a consensual kiss that is happening between two people who are playing a couple, you know, uh, oftentimes this is going to be, especially if we're like, oh, we're calling you and it's the next, it's the next day. And it's like, this is a production that's been going for a long time. They're so comfortable with each other. It's like, well, if they've been working with each other for a while, there's probably history there. And even just hopping on the phone to say, hey, just want to give space to talk about like how has everything been going? How's everything been going working with this person? This is these are the expectations for tomorrow. How do you feel about that? Even just giving them, even if everything is okay, them being given that space is so huge. And also allows that trust to be the down payment on that trust for the next day to happen.
SPEAKER_00I love the way that you just phrase that the down payment on that trust. Yes, that's so, so true. I think one of the other things that we where we can excel as intimacy coordinators on your on your set and on the day of or in these rehearsals that we get to have is if we have ample amount of time to read the script, to have the conversation, to talk to the other departments, what that also affords us is the ability to think through a bunch of different scenarios. If we have a particularly complicated or complex or layered simulation, uh simulated sex scene, right? From a bunch of different angles, maybe with a couple of different partners, maybe there's a couple of different props involved, or the, you know, set pieces that are involved. We can think through a bunch of different scenarios so that if you get to a sticking place and you're going, I don't know how to do this anymore, we can come in and say, I have this little Pilates ball that we can use here. And I actually think that we're gonna get that nice motion that you want to get with this prop in between. And that helps us. Maybe we're not always gonna bring our Pilates ball because we don't know that, right? This helps us be able to prep all of the different scenarios and and ways to pivot and support that storytelling in the moment where you all feel like we're we're we're in the groove, we're grooving together because because we've already imagined what possible ways we could approach this day, this process.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And if we don't know the options and we don't know the expectations, then we can't be prepared for it. So something
Holding the Line: Community and Industry Standards
SPEAKER_01else I wanted to bring up when it comes to prep days, and this is something that was learned in you know the early days of intimacy coordination was how important it was to keep you keep with the community and be able to know what was being offered. Because what would happen, and what still happens, you know, if you're a New York local and you know a lot of the intimacy coordinators who are working around New York is hey, there's a production who's offering, you know, two days, has two sex scenes, but will is refusing to pay any prep days. And I told them a prep day is the same amount as an onset day, and this is what it is. And they are saying, absolutely not. So now they're gonna start going down the list of known intimacy coordinators in the area. And what we do is we say, okay, got it. We're all gonna stand strong and not accept working without a prep day. And it this can be tough if it's, you know, a film where you know you know the person, you know the it's a small film or a friend that is doing a production, they didn't budget for it. It's so important that we hold the line as intimacy coordinators in this role, even though it has been well established, people are still going to find ways to try to undercut and try to go, try to get for less. So, you know, it's why it's so important to be in communication with the community that is around you, that is in your local, so that you all know and you're not undercutting your fellow intimacy coordinators.
SPEAKER_00Alicia, this is thank you so much for saying that and and all of the contributions that you have made to the conversation today. I am always so thrilled to have you and your voice and your expertise as a part of these conversations. I always love to end episodes that I'm on with with brief tips and tricks and maybe little helpful things that you can employ into your next conversations with the people that you're working with. One of the things I will shamelessly pitch is that IDC has this great uh comprehensive guidebook called the Intimacy and Production Toolkit. And it has this great handout that breaks down what an IC prep day looks like and even what an IC's job is. So not only is that a great resource that you could hand productions, if they're not familiar with what a uh prep day could look like, but also, and this is the tip and trick, if you don't want to hand it to productions, when you're on these production call meetings, have a little sticky note with all the things that you want to tell them that you do, why a prep day is important. This handout lays that out really nicely for you. But if you just want to type that out on a sticky note on your phone, there is no shame in how many times you've done this job or have not done this job to have an outline to make sure that you're not missing any points to why these prep days are important and how this can make you more efficient on the day of. I know Marcus tells me he still does this, I still do this, I think Alicia still does this. I mean, it's great to have this as a guideline. So, my tip and trick, just write it all out for you. Make sure that you have everything at your fingertips so that you don't have to worry about it and you can have the most calm and easeful conversation. And it makes you look super professional too. Unfortunately, that is all the time we have for today. I just want to say thank you so much, Alicia, for being here, for sharing your expertise. We love having you here. To those who are listening to this podcast, I'm so grateful to you. For all of you out there, we thank you so much for listening, and we'll catch you on the next episode.